Surah Al-Mujadila 58:2

Az-Zihar and the Atonement for It Imam

Ahmad recorded that Khuwaylah bint Tha`labah said, "By Allah! Allah sent down the beginning of Surat Al-Mujadilah in connection with me and `Aws bin As-Samit. He was my husband and had grown old and difficult. One day, he came to me and I argued with him about something and he said, out of anger, `You are like my mother's back to me.' He went out and sat with some of his people. Then he came back and wanted to have sexual intercourse with me. I said, `No, by the One in Whose Hand is the soul of Khuwaylah! You will not have your way with me after you said what you said, until Allah and His Messenger issue judgement about our case.' He wanted to have his way regardless of my choice and I pushed him away from me; he was an old man.' I next went to one of my neighbors and borrowed a garment from her and went to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. I told him what happened and kept complaining to him of the ill treatment I received from `Aws. He said,

«يَاخُوَيْلَةُ، ابْنُ عَمِّكِ شَيْخٌ كَبِيرٌ، فَاتَّقِي اللهَ فِيه»

(O Khuwaylah! Your cousin is an old man, so have Taqwa of Allah regarding him.) By Allah! Before I departed, parts of the Qur'an were revealed about me. Allah's Messenger ﷺ felt the hardship upon receiving the revelation as he usually did and then became relieved. He said to me,

«يَا خُوَيْلَةُ، قَدْ أَنْزَلَ اللهُ فِيكِ وَفِي صَاحِبِكِ قُرْآنًا»

(O Khuwaylah! Allah has revealed something about you and your spouse.) He recited to me,

قَدْ سَمِعَ اللَّهُ قَوْلَ الَّتِى تُجَادِلُكَ فِى زَوْجِهَا وَتَشْتَكِى إِلَى اللَّهِ وَاللَّهُ يَسْمَعُ تَحَاوُرَكُمآ إِنَّ اللَّهَ سَمِيعٌ بَصِيرٌ

(Indeed Allah has heard the statement of her that disputes with you concerning her husband, and complains to Allah. And Allah hears the argument between you both. Verily, Allah is All-Hearer, All-Seer.), until,

وَلِلكَـفِرِينَ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ

(And for disbelievers, there is a painful torment.) He then said to me,

«مُرِيهِ فَلْيُعْتِقْ رَقَبَة»

(Command him to free a slave.) I said, `O Allah's Messenger! He does not have any to free.' He said,

«فَلْيَصُمْ شَهْرَيْنِ مُتَتَابِعَيْن»

(Let him fast for two consecutive months.) I said, `By Allah! He is an old man and cannot fast.' He said,

«فَلْيُطْعِمْ سِتِّينَ مِسْكِينًا وَسْقًا مِنْ تَمْر»

(Let him feed sixty poor people a Wasq of dates.) I said, `O Allah's Messenger! By Allah, he does not have any of that.' He said,

«فَإِنَّا سَنُعِينُهُ بِعَرَقٍ مِنْ تَمْر»

(We will help him with a basket of dates.) I said, `And I, O Allah's Messenger! I will help him with another.' He said,

«قَدْ أَصَبْتِ وَأَحْسَنْتِ فَاذْهَبِي فَتَصَدَّقِي بِهِ عَنْهُ، ثُمَّ اسْتَوْصِي بِابْنِ عَمِّكِ خَيْرًا»

(You have done a righteously good thing. So go and give away the dates on his behalf and take care of your cousin.) I did that."' Abu Dawud also collected this Hadith in the Book of Divorce in his Sunan, according to which her name is Khawlah bint Tha`labah. She is also known as Khawlah bint Malik bin Tha`labah, and Khuwaylah. All these are close to each other, and Allah knows best. This is what is correct about the reason behind revealing this Surah. Therefore, Allah's statement,

الَّذِينَ يُظَـهِرُونَ مِنكُمْ مِّن نِّسَآئِهِمْ

(Those among you who make their wives unlawful to them by Zihar) refers to Zihar, which is derived from Az-Zahr, meaning, the back. During the time of Jahiliyyah, when one wanted to declare Zihar towards his wife, he would say, "To me, you are like the back of my mother." That was one way they issued divorce during that time. Allah allowed this Ummah to pay expiation for this statement and did not render it as a divorce, contrary to the case during the time of Jahiliyyah. Allah said,

مَّا هُنَّ أُمَّهَـتِهِمْ إِنْ أُمَّهَـتُهُمْ إِلاَّ اللاَّئِى وَلَدْنَهُمْ

(they cannot be their mothers. None can be their mothers except those who gave them birth.) meaning, when the husband says to his wife that she is like his mother, or the back of his mother etc., she does not become his mother. Rather his mother is she who gave birth to him. This is why Allah said,

وَإِنَّهُمْ لَيَقُولُونَ مُنكَراً مِّنَ الْقَوْلِ وَزُوراً

(And verily, they utter an ill word and a lie.) meaning, false and sinful speech,

وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَعَفُوٌّ غَفُورٌ

(And verily, Allah is Oft-Pardoning, Oft-Forgiving.) meaning, `what you used to do during the time of Jahiliyyah, and what accidentally slips out of your mouth, unintentionally.' Allah's statement,

وَالَّذِينَ يُظَـهِرُونَ مِن نِّسَآئِهِمْ ثُمَّ يَعُودُونَ لِمَا قَالُواْ

(And those who make unlawful to them (their wives) by Zihar and wish to free themselves from what they uttered,) Ash-Shafi`i said, "It means to keep her for a while after the Zihar, without divorcing her, even though his is able to do so." Ahmad bin Hanbal said, "To return to having sexual relations with her or to merely intend to do so, but only after he pays the expiation mentioned in the Ayah for his statement." It has been quoted from Malik that it is the intention to have sexual relations or to keep her or actually having sexual intercourse. Sa`id bin Jubayr said that this Ayah,

ثُمَّ يَعُودُونَ لِمَا قَالُواْ

(and wish to free themselves from what they uttered,) meaning, if they want to return to having sexual intercourse which was forbidden between them. Al-Hasan Al-Basri said that it is to utilize her sexual organ, and he did not see any harm in doing what is less than that before paying the expiation. `Ali bin Abi Talhah reported from Ibn `Abbas:

مِّن قَبْلِ أَن يَتَمَآسَّا

(before they touch each other.) "The `touching' refers here to sexual intercourse." Similar was said by `Ata', Az-Zuhri, Qatadah and Muqatil bin Hayyan. Az-Zuhri added, "He is not to kiss or touch her until he pays the expiation." The Sunan compilers recorded from `Ikrimah, from Ibn `Abbas that a man said, "O Allah's Messenger! I pronounced Zihar on my wife, but then had sexual intercourse with her before I paid the expiation." The Messenger ﷺ said,

«مَا حَمَلَكَ عَلى ذَلِكَ يَرْحَمُكَ الله»

(May Allah grant you His mercy, what made you do that) He said, "I saw the adornment she was wearing shining in the moon's light." The Prophet said,

«فَلَا تَقْرَبْهَا حَتْى تَفْعَلَ مَا أَمَرَكَ اللهُ عَزَّ وَجَل»

(Then do not touch her until you do what Allah the Exalted and Most Honored has ordered you to do.) At-Tirmidhi said, "Hasan Gharib Sahih." Abu Dawud and An-Nasa'i also recorded it. Allah said,

فَتَحْرِيرُ رَقَبَةٍ

((the penalty) in that case is the freeing of a slave) indicating the necessity of freeing a slave before they touch each other. This Ayah mentions any slave, not only believing servants as in the case of the expiation for (unintentional) killing,

ذَلِكُمْ تُوعَظُونَ بِهِ

(That is an admonition to you.) meaning, a warning to threaten you in this case.

وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرٌ

(And Allah is All-Aware of what you do.) meaning, He is All-Knower in what brings you benefit. Allah's statement,

فَمَن لَّمْ يَجِدْ فَصِيَامُ شَهْرَيْنِ مُتَتَابِعَيْنِ مِن قَبْلِ أَن يَتَمَآسَّا فَمَن لَّمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَإِطْعَامُ سِتِّينَ مِسْكِيناً

(And he who finds not must fast two successive months before they both touch each other. And he who is unable to do so, should feed sixty of the poor.) is explained by the Hadiths that prescribe these punishments in this order, just as in the Hadith collected in the Two Sahihs about the man who had sexual intercourse with his wife during the day, in Ramadan. Allah said,

ذَلِكَ لِتُؤْمِنُواْ بِاللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ

(That is in order that you may have perfect faith in Allah and His Messenger.) meaning, `We legislated this punishment so that you acquire this trait,'

وَتِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ

(These are the limits set by Allah.) meaning, the things that He has forbidden, so do not transgress them,

وَلِلكَـفِرِينَ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ

(And for disbelievers, there is a painful torment.) meaning, those who do not believe and do not abide by the rulings of Islamic legislation should never think they will be saved from the torment. Rather theirs will be a painful torment in this life and the Hereafter.

Ayat ini mencela suami-suami yang telah menzihar istrinya dengan mengatakan bahwa orang-orang yang telah menzihar istrinya adalah perkataan yang tidak benar yang dikatakan oleh orang-orang yang tidak menggunakan akal sehatnya. Apakah mungkin istri itu sama dengan ibu? Istri adalah teman hidup yang dihubungkan oleh akad nikah, sedang ibu adalah orang yang melahirkannya sehingga ada hubungan darah.

Oleh karena itu, orang yang demikian adalah orang yang mengatakan perkataan yang tidak etis dan tidak dibenarkan oleh agama, akal, maupun adat kebiasaan. Perkataan itu adalah perkataan yang tidak etis, tidak mempunyai alasan sedikit pun. Sekalipun demikian, Allah akan mengampuni dosa orang yang telah menzihar istrinya, jika ia mengikuti ketentuan-ketentuan-Nya.

Ada suatu prinsip dalam agama Islam yang harus ditegakkan, yaitu "mengakui kenyataan-kenyataan yang ada sesuai dengan sunatullah." Dalam menetapkan hukum-hukum yang berlaku di alam ini, Allah mengetahui hikmah dan akibatnya secara benar dan pasti. Oleh karena itu, sangat tercela orang-orang yang mau mengubah-ubah sunatullah itu, seperti memandang istri sebagai mahramnya, padahal Allah telah menetapkan orang-orang yang haram dinikahi oleh seorang pria (lihat Surah an-Nisa'/4: 22-24, dan beberapa ayat lainnya).

Pada ayat 4 Surah al-Ahzab/33, perkataan zihar digandengkan dengan perkataan anak angkat. Karena mengakui anak orang lain sebagai anak kandung sendiri sama hukumnya dengan anak sendiri, termasuk mengatakan sesuatu yang tidak sesuai dengan sunatullah, dan tidak sesuai dengan kebenaran. Kemudian Allah menegaskan bahwa anak angkat itu adalah anak ayah dan ibunya, bukan sekali-kali anak orang yang mengangkatnya. Allah berfirman:

Panggillah mereka (anak angkat itu) dengan (memakai) nama bapak-bapak mereka; itulah yang adil di sisi Allah, dan jika kamu tidak mengetahui bapak mereka, maka (panggillah mereka sebagai) saudara-saudaramu seagama dan maula-maulamu. Dan tidak ada dosa atasmu jika kamu khilaf tentang itu, tetapi (yang ada dosanya) apa yang disengaja oleh hatimu. Allah Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyayang. (al-Ahzab/33: 5)

Dari ayat ketiga surah ini dapat dipahami bahwa suami yang menzihar istrinya memperoleh hukuman ukhrawi dan hukuman duniawi. Hukuman ukhrawi ialah mereka berdosa karena mengatakan yang bukan-bukan, yaitu mengatakan bahwa istrinya haram dicampurinya seperti ia haram mencampuri ibunya. Dalam agama termasuk perbuatan terlarang apabila seseorang menghalalkan yang haram atau mengharamkan yang halal, karena yang menentukan halal dan haram itu hanyalah Allah saja. Hukuman duniawi ialah ia wajib membayar kafarat jika ia hendak mencampuri istrinya kembali, dan kafarat itu cukup besar jumlahnya, seperti yang akan diterangkan nanti.

Para ulama sepakat bahwa menyamakan istri dengan ibu dengan maksud untuk menyatakan kasih sayang kepadanya atau untuk menyatakan penghormatan dan terima kasih kepadanya, tidaklah termasuk zihar. Karena zihar itu hanyalah ucapan suami yang menyatakan bahwa istrinya itu haram dicampurinya.

Perkataan anti 'alaiyya ka dhahri ummi merupakan suatu ungkapan (idiom) yang mempunyai arti yang khusus dalam bahasa Arab. Hanyalah orang yang mendalam rasa bahasanya yang dapat merasakan arti ungkapan itu. Oleh karena itu, jika suami yang hanya mengerti bahasa Indonesia, mengucapkan sigat dhihar itu dengan ungkapan yang dipahami oleh orang Indonesia maka hukum di atas berlaku pula baginya.

Menurut Hanifah, Auza'i, ats-tsauri dan salah satu qaul Imam Syafi'i boleh disebut dalam sigat dhihar perempuan selain ibu, asal saja perempuan yang disebut namanya itu termasuk muhrim laki-laki yang menzihar, seperti suami mengatakan, "Engkau haram aku campuri, seperti aku haram mencampuri adik kandungku yang perempuan."

Jika seorang suami telah menzihar istrinya, tidak berarti telah terjadi perceraian antara kedua suami-istri itu. Masing-masing masih terikat oleh hak dan kewajiban sebagai suami dan istri. Mereka hanya terlarang melakukan persetubuhan. Demikian pula untuk menghindarkan diri dari perbuatan haram, maka haram pula kedua suami-istri itu berkhalwat (berduaan di tempat sunyi) sebelum suami membayar kafarat.

Agar istri tidak terkatung-katung hidupnya dan menderita karena zihar itu, sebaiknya ditetapkan waktu menunggu bagi istri. Waktu menunggu itu dapat dikiaskan kepada waktu menunggu dalam ila'), yaitu empat bulan. Apabila telah lewat waktu empat bulan sejak suami mengucapkan ziharnya, sedang suami belum lagi menetapkan keputusan, bercerai atau melanjutkan perkawinan dengan membayar kafarat, maka istri berhak mengajukan gugatan kepada pengadilan. Hakim tentu akan mengabulkan gugatan istri bila gugatan itu terbukti.

Jika zihar berakibat perceraian, maka jatuhlah talak ba'in kubra, dimana perkawinan kembali antara bekas suami-istri itu haruslah dengan syarat membayar kafarat.