Surah Al-Baqarah 2:233

The Suckling Period is only Two Years

This is a direction from Allah to the mothers to suckle their infants through the complete term of suckling, which is two years. Hence, suckling after two years is not included in this address. Allah said:

لِمَنْ أَرَادَ أَن يُتِمَّ الرَّضَاعَةَ

(...who desire to complete the term of suckling,)

Therefore, the suckling that establishes Tahrim (prohibition, i.e., one cannot marry his mother or sister from suckling) is what occurs before the two years end. If the infant is suckled only after two years of age, then no Tahrim will be established. At-Tirmidhi under Chapter: `Suckling establishes Tahrim within the first two years,' reported that Umm Salamah narrated that Allah's Messenger ﷺ said:

«لَا يَحْرُمُ مِنَ الرَّضَاعِ إِلَّا مَا فَتَقَ الْأَمْعَاءَ فِي الثَّدْيِ وَكَانَ قَبْلَ الْفِطَام»

(Suckling establishes Tahrim if it is on the breast and before Fitam (before weaning, i.e., before the end of the first two years).)

At-Tirmidhi said, "This Hadith is Hasan Sahih. The majority of the people of knowledge among the Companions of Allah's Messenger ﷺ and others acted upon this, that is that suckling establishes Tahrim (prohibition in marriage) before the end of the two years and that whatever occurs after that does not establish Tahrim". At-Tirmidhi is alone in recording this Hadith and the narrators in its chain meet the criteria of the Sahihayn. The Prophet's statement:

«إِلَّا مَا كَانَ فِي الثَّدْي»

(On the breast) refers to the organ of suckling before the two years. Imam Ahmad reported a Hadith in which Al-Bara' bin `Azib narrated, "When Ibrahim, the Prophet's son, died, the Prophet said:

«إِنَّ ابْنِي مَاتَ فِي الثَّدْيِ، إِنَّ لَهُ مُرْضِعًا فِي الْجَنَّـة»

(My son has died on the breast and he has someone to suckle him in Paradise.)

Furthermore, Ad-Daraqutni related that Ibn `Abbas said that Allah's Messenger ﷺ said:

«لَا يَحْرُمُ مِنَ الرَّضَاعِ إِلَّا مَا كَانَ فِي الْحَوْلَيْن»

(Suckling establishes Tahrim only within the (first) two years.)

Imam Malik reported this Hadith from Thawr bin Zayd who narrated that Ibn `Abbas related it to the Prophet . Ad-Darawardi reported this Hadith from Thawr who narrated it from `Ikrimah who narrated it from Ibn `Abbas. In this narration, which is more authentic, he added:

«وَمَا كَانَ بَعْدَ الْحَوْلَيْنِ فَليْسَ بِشَيْء»

(Whatever occurs after the two years is not considered.)

Suckling beyond the Two Years

It is reported in the Sahih that `A'ishah thought that if a woman gives her milk to an older person (meaning beyond the age of two years) then this will establish Tahrim. This is also the opinion of `Ata' bin Abu Rabah and Layth bin Sa`d. Hence, `A'ishah thought that it is permissible to suckle the man whom the woman needs to be allowed in her house. She used as evidence the Hadith of Salim, the freed slave of Abu Hudhayfah, where the Prophet ordered Abu Hudhayfah's wife to give some of her milk to Salim, although he was a man, and ever since then, he used to enter her house freely. However, the rest of the Prophet's wives did not agree with this opinion and thought that this was only a special case. This is also the opinion of the majority of the scholars.

Suckling for Monetary Compensation

Allah said:

وَعلَى الْمَوْلُودِ لَهُ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

(...but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother's food and clothing on a reasonable basis.) meaning, the father of the baby is obliged to provide for the expenses of the mother and to buy her clothes, in reasonable amounts usually used by similar women in that area, without extravagance or stinginess. The father spends within his means in this case. Allah said in another Ayah:

لِيُنفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِّن سَعَتِهِ وَمَن قُدِرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقُهُ فَلْيُنفِقْ مِمَّآ ءَاتَاهُ اللَّهُ لاَ يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْساً إِلاَّ مَآ ءَاتَاهَا سَيَجْعَلُ اللَّهُ بَعْدَ عُسْرٍ يُسْراً

(Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allah will grant after hardship, ease.) (65:7)

Ad-Dahhak commented, "If the husband divorces his wife, with whom he had a child, and she suckles that child, he is required to provide for the mother's expenses and clothes within reason."

No Darar (Harm) or Dirar (Revenge)

Allah said:

لاَ تُضَآرَّ وَلِدَةٌ بِوَلَدِهَا

(No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child,) meaning, the mother should not decline to rear her child to harm its father. The mother does not have the right to refrain from suckling the child after giving birth, unless she suckles him/her the milk that is necessary for his/her survival. Later on, she is allowed to give up custody of the child as long as she does not do that intending to harm the father. In addition, the father is not allowed to take the child from his mother to harm the mother. This is why Allah said:

وَلاَ مَوْلُودٌ لَّهُ بِوَلَدِهِ

(...nor father on account of his child.) meaning, by taking the child from its mother intending to harm the mother. This is the Tafsir of Mujahid, Qatadah, Ad-Dahhak, Az-Zuhri, As-Suddi, Ath-Thawri and Ibn Zayd, and others on this Ayah.

Allah then said:

وَعَلَى الْوَارِثِ مِثْلُ ذلِكَ

(And on the (father's) heir is incumbent the like of that (which was incumbent on the father).) meaning, by refraining from harming the relative (of the father, i.e., his infant), as Mujahid, Ash-Sha`bi and Ad-Dahhak stated. It was also reported that (the Ayah requires) the inheritor (of the father) to spend on the mother of the child, just as the father was spending, and to preserve her rights and refrain from harming her, according to the Tafsir of the majority of the scholars. We should state that Ibn Jarir has explained this subject in detail in his Tafsir and that he also stated that suckling the child after the second year might harm the child's body and mind. Sufyan Ath-Thawri narrated that `Alqamah asked a woman who was suckling her child after the second year ended, not to do that.

Fitam (weaning) occurs by Mutual Consent

Allah said:

فَإِنْ أَرَادَا فِصَالاً عَن تَرَاضٍ مِّنْهُمَا وَتَشَاوُرٍ فَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا

(If they both decide on weaning, by mutual consent, and after due consultation, there is no sin on them.)

This Ayah indicates that if the father and the mother decide on the Fitam (weaning) before the two years (of suckling) end, and for a benefit that they duly discuss and agree upon, then there is no sin in this case. So, the Ayah indicates that one parent is not allowed to make this kind of decision without duly consulting the other parent, as stated by Ath-Thawri. The method of mutual consultation protects the child's interests. It is also a mercy from Allah to His servants, for He has legislated the best method for parents to rear their children, and His legislation guides and directs the parents and the children to success. Similarly, Allah said in Surat At-Talaq (chapter 65 in the Qur'an):

فَإِنْ أَرْضَعْنَ لَكُمْ فَـَاتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ وَأْتَمِرُواْ بَيْنَكُمْ بِمَعْرُوفٍ وَإِن تَعَاسَرْتُمْ فَسَتُرْضِعُ لَهُ أُخْرَى

(Then if they give suck to the children for you, give them their due payment, and let each of you accept the advice of the other in a just way. But if you make difficulties for one another, then some other woman may give suck for him (the father of the child).) (65:6)

Allah then said:

وَإِنْ أَرَدتُّمْ أَن تَسْتَرْضِعُواْ أَوْلَـدَكُمْ فَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ إِذَا سَلَّمْتُم مَّآ ءَاتَيْتُم بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

(And if you decide on a foster suckling-mother for your children, there is no sin on you, provided you pay (the mother) what you agreed (to give her) on a reasonable basis.) meaning, if the mother and the father both agree that the father assumes custody of the child due to a circumstance that compels her or allows him to do so, then there is no sin in this case. Hence, the mother is allowed to give up the child and the father is allowed to assume custody of the child. The father should kindly give the mother her expenses for the previous period (during which she reared and suckled the child), and he should seek other women to suckle his child for monetary compensation. Thereafter, Allah said:

وَاتَّقُواْ اللَّهَ

(And fear Allah) meaning, in all of your affairs,

وَاعْلَمُواْ أَنَّ اللَّهَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ بَصِيرٌ

(And know that Allah is All-Seer of what you do.) meaning, none of your affairs or speech escapes His perfect Watch.

Setiap ibu (meskipun ia janda) berkewajiban menyusui anaknya sampai anak itu mencapai usia dua tahun. Tidak mengapa kalau masa susuan itu kurang dari masa tersebut apabila kedua ibu-bapak memandang ada maslahatnya. Demikian pula setiap bapak berkewajiban untuk memenuhi kebutuhan para ibu baik sandang maupun pangan sesuai dengan kebutuhannya. Ibu laksana wadah bagi anak sedang bapak sebagai pemilik wadah itu. Maka sudah sewajarnya bapak berkewajiban memberi nafkah kepada orang yang di bawah tanggung jawabnya dan memelihara serta merawat miliknya.

Allah mewajibkan kepada ibu menyusui bayinya, karena air susu ibu mempunyai pengaruh yang besar kepada anaknya. Dari hasil penelitian para ahli medis menunjukkan bahwa air susu ibu terdiri dari saripati yang benar-benar murni. Air susu ibu juga merupakan makanan yang paling baik untuk bayi, dan tidak disangsikan lagi oleh para ahli gizi. Di samping ibu dengan fitrah kejadiannya memiliki rasa kasih sayang yang mendalam sehingga penyusuan langsung dari ibu, berhubungan erat dengan perkembangan jiwa dan mental anak. Dengan demikian kurang tepat tindakan sementara para ibu yang tidak mau menyusui anaknya hanya karena kepentingan pribadinya, umpamanya, untuk memelihara kecantikan. Padahal ini bertentangan dengan fitrahnya sendiri dan secara tidak langsung ia kehilangan kesempatan untuk membina dasar hubungan keibuan dengan anaknya sendiri dalam bidang emosi.

Demikianlah pembagian kewajiban kedua orang tua terhadap bayinya yang diatur oleh Allah swt. Sementara itu diberi pula keringanan terhadap kewajiban, umpama kesehatan ibu terganggu atau seorang dokter mengatakan tidak baik bila disusukan oleh ibu karena suatu hal, maka tidak mengapa kalau anak mendapat susuan atau makanan dari orang lain.

Demikian juga apabila bapak tidak mempunyai kesanggupan melaksanakan kewajibannya karena miskin maka ia boleh melaksanakan kewajibannya sesuai dengan kesanggupannya. Keringanan itu membuktikan bahwa anak tidak boleh dijadikan sebab adanya kemudaratan, baik terhadap bapak maupun terhadap ibu. Dengan pengertian, kewajiban tersebut tidak mesti berlaku secara mutlak sehingga mengakibatkan kemudaratan bagi keduanya. Salah satu pihak tidak boleh memudaratkan pihak lain dengan menjadikan anak sebagai kambing hitamnya. Umpamanya karena ibu mengetahui bahwa bapak berkewajiban memberi nafkah maka ia melakukan pemerasan dengan tidak menyusui atau merawat si bayi tanpa sejumlah biaya tertentu. Atau bapak sangat kikir dalam memberikan nafkah sehingga ibu menderita karenanya.

Selanjutnya andaikata salah seorang dari ibu atau bapak tidak memiliki kesanggupan untuk melaksanakan kewajiban atau meninggal dunia, maka kewajiban-kewajiban itu berpindah kepada ahli warisnya. Lamanya masa penyusuan dua tahun, namun demikian apabila berdasarkan musyawarah antara bapak dan ibu untuk kemaslahatan anak, mereka sepakat untuk menghentikannya sebelum sampai masa dua tahun atau meneruskannya lewat dari dua tahun maka hal ini boleh saja dilakukan.

Demikian juga jika mereka mengambil perempuan lain untuk menyusukan anaknya, maka hal ini tidak mengapa dengan syarat, kepada perempuan yang menyusukan itu diberikan imbalan jasa yang sesuai, sehingga terjamin kemaslahatan baik bagi anak maupun perempuan yang menyusui itu.

Ulama fikih berbeda pendapat tentang siapa yang berhak untuk menyusukan dan memelihara anak tersebut, jika terjadi perceraian antara suami-istri. Apakah pemeliharaan menjadi kewajiban ibu atau kewajiban bapak? Imam Malik berpendapat bahwa ibulah yang berkewajiban menyusukan anak tersebut, walaupun ia tidak memiliki air susu; kalau ia masih memiliki harta maka anak itu disusukan pada orang lain dengan mempergunakan harta ibunya. Imam Syafi'i dalam hal ini berpendapat bahwa kewajiban tersebut adalah kewajiban bapak.