Surah Al-Baqarah 2:228

The `Iddah (Waiting Period) of the Divorced Woman

This Ayah contains a command from Allah that the divorced woman, whose marriage was consummated and who still has menstruation periods, should wait for three (menstrual) periods (Quru') after the divorce and then remarry if she wishes.

The Meaning of Al-Quru

Ibn Jarir related that `Alqamah said: We were with `Umar bin Al-Khattab when a woman came and said, "My husband divorced me one or two periods ago. He then came back to me while I had prepared my water for taking a bath, took off my clothes and closed my door." `Umar asked `Abdullah bin Mas`ud, "What do you think" He said, "I think that she is still his wife, as long as she is not allowed to resume praying (i.e., until the third period ends before he takes her back)." `Umar said, "This is my opinion too." This is also the opinion of Abu Bakr As-Siddiq, `Umar, `Uthman, `Ali, Abu Ad-Darda', `Ubadah bin As-Samit, Anas bin Malik, Ibn Mas`ud, Mu`adh, Ubayy bin Ka`b, Abu Musa Al-Ash`ari and Ibn `Abbas. Furthermore, this is the opinion of Sa`id bin Musayyib, `Alqamah, Aswad, Ibrahim, Mujahid, `Ata', Tawus, Sa`id bin Jubayr, `Ikrimah, Muhammad bin Sirin, Al-Hasan, Qatadah, Ash-Sha`bi, Ar-Rabi`, Muqatil bin Hayyan, As-Suddi, Makhul, Ad-Dahhak and `Ata' Al-Khurasani. They all stated that the Quru' is the menstruation period. What testifies to this is the Hadith that Abu Dawud and An-Nasa'i reported that Fatimah bint Abu Hubaiysh said that Allah's Messenger ﷺ said to her:

«دَعِي الصَّلاَةَ أَيَّامَ أَقْرَائِك»

(Do not pray during your Aqra' (pl. for Quru', the menstruation period).)

If this Hadith was authentic, it would have been a clear proof that the Quru' is the menstruation period. However, one of the narrators of this Hadith, Al-Mundhir, is an unknown person (in Hadith terminology), as Abu Hatim has stated, although Ibn Hibban has mentioned Al-Mundhir in his book Ath-Thiqat.

A Woman's Statement about Menses and Purity is to be accepted

Allah said:

وَلاَ يَحِلُّ لَهُنَّ أَن يَكْتُمْنَ مَا خَلَقَ اللَّهُ فِى أَرْحَامِهِنَّ

(...and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs,) meaning, of pregnancy or menstruation periods. This is the Tafsir of Ibn `Abbas, Ibn `Umar, Mujahid, Ash-Sha`bi, Al-Hakam bin `Utaybah, Ar-Rabi` bin Anas, Ad-Dahhak and others.

Allah then said:

إِن كُنَّ يُؤْمِنَّ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الاٌّخِرِ

(...if they believe in Allah and the Last Day.)

This Ayah warns women against hiding the truth (if they were pregnant or on their menses), indicating that they are the authority in such matters as they alone know such facts about themselves. Since verifying such matters is difficult, Allah left this decision with them. Yet, women were warned not to hide the truth in case they wish to end the `Iddah sooner, or later, according to their desires. Women were thus commanded to say the truth (if they were pregnant or on their menses), no more and no less.

The Husband has the Right to take back his Divorced Wife during the `Iddah (Waiting Period)

Allah said:

وَبُعُولَتُهُنَّ أَحَقُّ بِرَدِّهِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ إِنْ أَرَادُواْ إِصْلَـحاً

(And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation.)

Hence, the husband who divorces his wife can take her back, providing she is still in her `Iddah (time spent before a divorced woman or a widow can remarry) and that his aim, by taking her back, is righteous and for the purpose of bringing things back to normal. However, this ruling applies where the husband is eligible to take his divorced wife back. We should mention that (when this Ayah 2:228 was revealed), the ruling that made the divorce thrice and specified when the husband is ineligible to take his divorced wife back, had not been revealed yet. Previously, the man used to divorce his wife and then take her back even if he had divorced her a hundred separate times. Thereafter, Allah revealed the following Ayah (2:229) that made the divorce only thrice. So there was now a reversible divorce and an irreversible final divorce.

The Rights the Spouses have over Each Other

Allah said:

وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِى عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

(And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable,)

This Ayah indicates that the wife has certain rights on her husband, just as he has certain rights on her, and each is obliged to give the other spouse his due rights. Muslim reported that Jabir said that Allah's Messenger ﷺ said:

«فَاتَّقُوا اللهَ فِي النِّسَاءِ، فَإِنَّكُمْ أَخَذْتُمُوهُنَّ بِأَمَانَةِ اللهِ، وَاسْتَحْلَلْتُمْ فُرُوجَهُنَّ بِكَلِمَةِ اللهِ، وَلَكُمْ عَلَيْهِنَّ أَنْ لَا يُوطِئْنَ فُرُشَكُمْ أَحَدًا تَكْرَهُونَهُ، فَإِنْ فَعَلْنَ ذَلِكَ فَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ ضَرْبًا غَيْرَ مُبَرِّحٍ، وَلَهُنَّ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوف»

(Fear Allah regarding your women, for you have taken them by Allah's covenant and were allowed to enjoy with them sexually by Allah's Words. You have the right on them that they do not allow anyone you dislike to sit on your mat. If they do that, then discipline them leniently. They have the right to be spent on and to be bought clothes in what is reasonable.)

Bahz bin Hakim said that Mu`awiyah bin Haydah Al-Qushayri related that his grandfather said, "O Messenger of Allah ﷺ! What is the right the wife of one of us has" The Prophet said:

«أَنْ تُطْعِمَهَا إِذَا طَعِمْتَ، وتَكْسُوَهَا إِذَا اكْتَسَيْتَ، وَلَا تَضْرِبِ الْوَجْهَ، وَلَا تُقَبِّحْ، وَلَا تَهْجُرْ إِلَّا فِي الْبَيْت»

(To feed her when you eat, buy her clothes when you buy for yourself and to refrain from striking her on the face, cursing her or staying away from her except in the house.)

Waki` related that Ibn `Abbas said, "I like to take care of my appearance for my wife just as I like for her to take care of her appearance for me. This is because Allah says:

وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِى عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

(And they (women) have rights similar (to those of their husbands) over them to what is reasonable.)" This statement is reported by Ibn Jarir and Ibn Abu Hatim.

The Virtue Men have over Women

Allah said:

وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ

(but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them.)

This Ayah indicates that men are in a more advantageous position than women physically as well as in their mannerism, status, obedience (of women to them), spending, taking care of the affairs and in general, in this life and in the Hereafter. Allah said (in another Ayah):

الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَلِهِمْ

(Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.) (4:34)

Allah's statement:

وَاللَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكُيمٌ

(And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise) means, He is Mighty in His punishment of those who disobey and defy His commands. He is Wise in what He commands, destines and legislates.

Dalam ayat ini dijelaskan hukum talak sebagai penyempurnaan bagi hukum-hukum yang tersebut pada ayat-ayat sebelumnya. Apabila istri yang mempunyai masa haid, dicerai oleh suaminya, maka hendaklah dia bersabar menunggu tiga kali quru', baru boleh kawin dengan laki-laki yang lain.

Tiga kali quru' ialah tiga kali suci menurut pendapat jumhur ulama ). Ini dinamakan masa idah, yaitu masa harus menunggu. Selama dia masih dalam masa idah, ia tidak boleh menyembunyikan apa yang telah terjadi dalam kandungannya, apakah dia telah hamil ataukah dalam haid kembali. Setiap istri yang beriman kepada Allah dan hari kiamat, dia harus jujur, mengakui terus terang apa yang telah terjadi dalam rahimnya.

Pada masa jahiliyah, di kalangan istri-istri yang tidak jujur, sering tidak mengatakan bahwa dirinya telah hamil. Setelah idah-nya habis dia kawin lagi dengan laki-laki lain, maka tidak lama sesudah kawin lahir anaknya, terjadilah perselisihan dan pertengkaran antara kedua suami istri. Apabila mantan suami tidak mengakui bahwa itu anaknya, maka teraniayalah bayi yang tidak bersalah itu, disebabkan ibunya tidak jujur ketika masih dalam masa idah. Ada pula terjadi pada masa itu, istri tidak mau berterus terang bahwa idah-nya sudah habis, dia mengatakan masih dalam haid, maksud dia berbohong itu, agar suaminya tetap memberi belanja kepadanya selama dia dalam idah, maka turunlah ayat ini melarang istri yang dicerai menyembunyikan apa yang terjadi dalam rahimnya. Selama perempuan yang ditalak itu masih dalam idah, suami boleh rujuk, itulah yang lebih baik jika niat rujuknya ingin membina kembali rumah tangganya yang baik. Cukuplah waktu idah itu bagi suami untuk berpikir apakah ia akan rujuk kembali (lebih-lebih sudah ada anak) atau akan bercerai.

Tetapi kalau rujuk itu bukan didorong oleh maksud yang baik, yakni hanya untuk membalas dendam, atau untuk menyusahkan dan menyakiti istri, maka perbuatan seperti ini dilarang Allah dan itu perbuatan zalim terhadap perempuan. Talak yang dijatuhkan kepada istri seperti ini, bernama talak raj'i yaitu talak yang masih boleh rujuk sebelum habis masa idah.

Kemudian firman Allah yang mengatakan bahwa perempuan itu mempunyai hak yang seimbang dengan laki-laki dan laki-laki mempunyai kelebihan satu tingkat dari istrinya, adalah menjadi dalil bahwa dalam amal kebajikan mencapai kemajuan dalam segala aspek kehidupan, lebih-lebih dalam lapangan ilmu pengetahuan, perempuan dan laki-laki sama-sama mempunyai hak dan kewajiban. Meskipun demikian hak dan kewajiban itu disesuaikan dengan fitrahnya baik fisik maupun mental. Umpamanya seorang istri mempunyai kewajiban mengurus rumah tangga, mendidik anak-anak dan memelihara kesehatannya, menjaga kebersihan dan rahasia rumah tangga dan lain-lain. Sedang suami sebagai kepala keluarga bekerja dan berusaha untuk mencari nafkah yang halal guna membelanjai istri dan anak-anak. Dalam keluarga/rumah tangga, suami dan istri adalah mitra sejajar, saling tolong menolong dan bantu membantu dalam mewujudkan rumah tangga sakinah yang diridai Allah swt. Perbedaan yang ada adalah untuk saling melengkapi dan kerjasama, bukan sebagai sesuatu yang bertentangan dalam membina rumah tangga bahagia.

Meskipun nafkah keluarga merupakan kewajiban suami, bukan berarti istri tidak boleh membantu nafkah keluarga, tetapi bila istri mengeluarkan biaya/nafkah rumah tangga, itu hanya sebagai tabarru' bukan sebagai kewajiban. Bila suami jatuh miskin, karena pemutusan hubungan kerja (PHK) atau sakit yang menjadikan ia tidak bisa memberi nafkah, maka istri berkewajiban membantu biaya rumah tangga, tetapi bila suami sudah berkemampuan memberi nafkah, maka ia wajib mengganti biaya yang telah dikeluarkan oleh istri, kecuali istri tersebut rela tidak diganti, maka nafkah yang telah dikeluarkannya menjadi bantuan suka rela kepada rumah tangga.

Dalam masyarakat, perempuan boleh berlomba dengan laki-laki untuk mencari kemajuan dan berbuat amal kebajikan. Kalau ada orang menuduh, bahwa Islam tidak memberi kemerdekaan asasi kepada perempuan, itu adalah tuduhan yang tidak benar. Islamlah yang mula-mula mengangkat derajat perempuan setinggi-tingginya, sebelum dunia yang maju sekarang ini sanggup berbuat demikian. Sudah sejak 14 abad yang lalu Islam memberikan hak dan kewajiban kepada perempuan dan laki-laki, sedangkan dunia lain pada waktu itu masih dalam gelap gulita. Seorang suami sebagai kepala rumah tangga bertanggung jawab atas kesejahteraan dan keselamatan rumah tangga dengan memberikan biaya rumah tangga yang diperoleh dengan jalan yang halal. Demikian Allah mengatur hubungan suami istri dengan cara-cara yang harmonis untuk mencapai kebahagiaan hidup dalam berumah tangga.